Give Me A Bream!

Walking the residential neighbourhood on the lookout for jinglish, I happened across this shop (my zoom function was dissabled by a busy road).



It says "Athletic Dog Club".

For some reason the name struck me and I had to stop walking to ponder the meaning hidden within.

First thought was, "a club for athletic dogs"?

But then I thought, where's the money? Perhaps "Dog Athletics Club", where they rent out specially designed apparatus for dog athletics meets, that could make money. But simply a club where healthy dogs gather to go running a bit?

Then my second thought was, "a club for not very athletic dogs"?

So your worried your dog is fat (because you feed it too much, because you can't control it barking, because you live in a shoe box), so you take it to... the athletic dog club!

Which makes it like a gym, full of not-athletic dogs. Like most gyms are full of not-athletic people I suppose.

I thought well, there is definitely money to be made here, as i fantasized about men and women in lycra leggings trailed by furry balls furiously pumping their legs, wearing a heart-rate monitor with calorie-burn readout.

And then my third thought was, I will cross the road.



It is actually a dog hotel, where it claims they don't use cages, and the staff "spend nights with the dogs".

So less a dog hotel, more an inter-specie bordello?

And I picked up an information sheet (with 525 yen discount ticket attached), took it home with me, and checked out the web site.

http://www4.ocn.ne.jp/~adc/

Their pricing varies by dog (of course), with different rates for small dogs, medium dogs, large dogs, and massive dogs.

But photos of the place just show a load of dogs running around mentally in a small room with a lino floor...

Shoudn't a dog hotel have something like mod-cons attached? Especially for those prices (Medium Dog - One Night - $52). I say it cannot call itself a dog hotel (which it doesn't but) without a plasma TV with K9, My Dog Skip, and Beethoven 1, 2 and 3 on continuous loop, plus some nature programs for late night viewing.

And it's like the market. Proof of concept doesn't mean anything has been done good or well or porper.

But, I leave you with some jinglish from the doggy bordello website:



The conversation goes:
Left Dog: "GIVE ME A BREAM!"
Right Dog: "DON'T FORGET ME!"

I think we agree, totally essential.