Jesus Body!

I start my contributions to Jan's blog with some prime rib, state-of-the-art, top draw, trousers down, bottoms up, top-of-the-line, back-to-the-wall, bona-fide Jinglish marketing.

This new celebrity-vouched dietary supplement, vouched by the celebrity to help you with your diet (as in losing weight), is called "Jesus Body!".



I see. I guess Jesus was known for being a healthy kind of guy. If not bodily than at least morally. And at least up until his 33rd birthday.

Around which time his health took a turn for the death.

And the promised quality Jinglish - on the front of the box and reproduced below in case my roving reporter's camera (mobile phone) hasn't quite picked out all the detail is;

"New discovery to be kept secret from others.
this discovery is a secret.
I can lay it down because I am correct.
We will not make you sorry.
Pleasure to have the real thing.
I really longed for this."



Firstly, telling people to keep your product a secret is surely not part of any top-shelf marketing campaign, perhaps the under-the-counter-shelf, but not top-shelf.

Secondly, it's hard to believe that the discovery of something found on the shelves of most drug stores can itself be a secret. No one's disbelief will be suspending itself that far. Another bad move from marketing.

Thirdly the "laying down". The only way that works is if these Jinglish sentences are actually part of a rap, a battle rap, and the person is "laying down" her lyrics (on dietary supplements) as she/he boasts "I am correct" (on dietary supplements).

Fourthly, it's Jinglish.

Oh yes, and I am required by law of the blog to state that I use the word Jinglish under license from Jan the man in Japan. Though, as it has been recently announced that the English language is accepting any old crap/excellent ideas for new words, I shouldn't need to put in this disclaimer for long.

And what's in the actual product? The approximate contents of your last Thai green curry, apparently.

To Conclude:
Christianity - not such a big thing in Japan.