Service

After receiving a phone call from an excruciatingly polite, and very nearly hyperventilating employee of Mitsubishi Tokyo UFJ Bank, detailed here, I knew that it would be diligently seen to that my 500 Yen ($5) gift card would not deviate from a smooth and punctual delivery to my oversized foreign hands.

And, indeed, it was so.

I was not surprised to receive the letter on time. I was more surprised by my reaction to it. Not having opened a bank account since Nat West offered me a GBP10 book token sometime last century, I was curiously sent back to an earlier self, one that found the best thing about Corn Flakes to be the little coloured submarines and holograms they would put in them. And then I realised that there is still some of this in everyone. Anyway, back to the story.

So I get the letter, open it, and expect to see, you know, the kind of letter which starts with "Dear Valued Customer", reeks of fake politeness and insincerity, and goes on to tell you things which can't possibly be true, such as the "expert customer advisers" would be "delighted" to walk you through their mortgages "to find the right product to suit your needs", and that they value their relationship with you, and that if you are hard of hearing, you can phone a number where they speak really, really loud, and if you are blind, well, how the hell are you reading this anyway?

Suitably braced with this expectation on one hand, childishly excited at the prospect of a free $5 voucher and the excitement of what to do with it on the other (one medium-sized slice of really good cake with real strawberries), I open the letter to find this:



My gift card, in a high-spec, but understated (of course - this is Japan, not Las Vegas, you know) envelope. And the letter:



Not only is there a smiling and helpful cartoon staff member of Mitsubishi Tokyo UFJ Banking Corporation (very true-to-life, I felt), but also, there is a hand-written message!

When Japanese banks start to expand their operations to the UK, RBS, HSBC and Lloyds will have a tough battle on their hands.

And this episode slightly reminds me of the market. Always question your assumptions.