The Genius of Chimps

Now, we all know that when business is sluggish, and when you're running out of ideas for things to put on the TV, you need a back-up, such as...

...getting a professional skakeboarder (yes, this position exists) to team up with a chimpanzee!

The chimp is called Pan Kun, and greets the skateboarder very politely.

Now, with little more than a glimpse of how its done, Pan Kun is thrown in the deep end.

But look at that confidence:

On his second go, he is already standing up (sitting on the board was too easy)...

...but how will he deal with...

...a steep slope?

No problem!

Pan Kun also makes short work of the traffic cone slalom...

... the ducking down thingy...

...and, significantly, the all-important ramp:

But here is the best bit. After filming finished, Pan Kun took the board for a spin around the nearest public park without prompting. Here he is going around a corner at full speed. Perhaps some picnickers will be in for a surprise.

And this is very much like the market. Once the knowledge is out there, it is impossible to put the genie back in the bottle.

Mickey Mouse or Just Another Halluciation?

I have to apologise yet again. Today has been a busy day. You know how on some days you mentally put aside some time into a box labelled "Productive Time", and then go and start thinking about some important questions that have been on your mind, such as "those folks in Terminator 4 did a really good job against the robots - how were they so brave against their formidable and well-organised opponents?", or "does MacDonald's in Japan have wasabi-based products?", and "can a cookie with a single piece of chocolate be honestly called a Chocolate Chip Cookie?". Well, today is such a day.

And for this reason, we are going to review some brief, yet hardly unimportant, contributions to the Rare Sceneries of Japan list:

Here is a child's head with hair...

... in the shape of a heart!

Here is a closeup:

And a related, but different rare scene is - some moss by the side of the road...

... in the shape of Mickey Mouse's head!

The person who sent this entry in was so impressed by the sight of Mickey's head, that he comes every day to blow dust off it, using an air pump:

And water it (with mineral water):

However, this does raise the problem of Confirmation Bias - could the discoverers be influenced to see a shape that wasn't really there, and then comb/pour water in such a way as to make the shape more perfect? There is no way to tell, of course, but this does remind me a little of the market.

You can always find a pattern in the data if you squint hard enough.

Do the Insect Repellant Dance

Following the inspirational "Bite it and its soft, soft, soft..." advert, it would be something of a minor miracle if there was another advert on TV featuring a rare and memorable dance routine, I thought.


However, reaching this kind of conclusion is clearly problematic. What if there is another amazing advert, but you haven't seen it yet? The old problem of the tree falling in the forest but no one seeing it.

So, the only thing to do in a case such as this is to spend a great deal of time watching TV, in the hope that another commercial comes up. Thus, as any logical person, I essentially talked myself into doing this.

And, after a lengthy and challenging vigil, the following discovery was made:

The words are "Hang it, hang it, hang it, hang it up, hang it up; Insects will not come; An invisible door screen!"

If you would like to sing along in Japanese: "Bura bura sasete, bura bura sagete; Mushi konazu; Mienai amido!"

Happily, there is even more to this joyful story. The company has another version of the anti-insect product:

"Back door, Front door, Side door; Insets will not come; An invisible door screen! Porch-Use!"


Singalong: "Uraguchi, deguchi, katteguchi; Mushi konazu; Mienai amido!; Genkan-yo!"

Although I realise that not everyone was tempted to copy the chewing gum dance, I am sure that this is due to the quality of competition. However, perhaps you may want to try this one, in the home, office, or just on public transport.

And the discovery of this gem rather reminds me of an aspect of the market. While it is tempting to connect this episode to rare events, option pricing, tail-risk etc, I think that we can all take away the lesson that lightning does, in fact, strike twice.

$10k Chewing Gum Dancing

By now, we all understand the power of advertising.

Following the forceful logic of "Go on, Go on, Isuzu Truck", it was widely believed (mainly by me), that there could be another work of such genius any time soon.

However, as many forecasts made under unpredictable conditions, this short-sightedness has already proven to be foolhardy.

And the new king of commercials comes from the world of chewing gum:

The words are fairly straightforward. Do sing along, if only under your breath. "Kamu to funyan funyan, funyan funyan funyan funyan, Kamu to funyan funyan, funyan funyan funyan funyan...." and so on.

This means "Bite it and its soft, soft, soft, Bite it and its soft, soft, soft".

The fist fifteen times I heard the advert I thought it was saying "Miaowing around with the cat, miaowing, miaowing...", and I also spent some time under the impression that it may have been saying "Hayfever - miao miao miao miao miao miao miao". It is easy to make yourself misunderstood in Japanese.

Now, here is the part where it is really an outstanding advert. The promoters hit upon the inspired idea of offering 100,000 Yen ($10k) to the person who can do the best imitation of the dance. This is likely one of the best advertising investments of all time. On their site you can view the entries (highly recommended), and view an instructional video on how to, and (importantly), how not to do the dance.

Now, I know what you're thinking. Unfortunately, they are no longer accepting entries. However, for the greater good, I reviewed loads of them, and here are some of the interesting ones.

Here is probably the best classroom one - for the ending, mainly. NB - There are also lots of early morning office ones, but they are all bad:

Often people do the dancing at home, but here is the only one with someone wearing a face mask at home:

This one gets the prize for best location (but also check out bored santa in front of random statue):



But this one clearly wins the prize for originality:



And this reminds me a little of the market. It helps to be a contrarian.

Oldschool Acrobatics

One of my top TV programmes, and I do admit that there are quite a few of them, is "What is this? Rare Sceneries of Japan". In this case, "sceneries" are not just view of mountains and lakes, but also include a spring which produces perfectly carbonated soda water, a school where they eat Konbu (one of Japan's many seaweed products) to prevent tooth decay, and this:

"When did you start doing the steel bars?"

"When I was about 50 or so." He is now 80 years old!

"There wasn't any reason to it"

"I just thought `lets try something` "

Ok, so let's see how many turns Mr Ikeguchi (I think that's his name, but let's just call him Henry from now) can do. He lifts himself up on this rusty bar, and starts spinning around like a crack-crazed acrobat, in a circus:

...11

...22...

...35! Even the kid watching him is surprised.

"So, what's the most you've done?"

"40"

So, if you move to where this guy lives (Chiba, not far from Tokyo), maybe you too could enjoy the rare signt of Henry going for some age-defying acrobatics. Should it go into the list of top strange sights in Japan?

Fortunately, as with most Japanese programming, a pannel of semi-famous people is at hand to provide instant analysis, and vote on whether it should be included in the list of rare sights in Japan - surely this is a no-brainer for inclusion. All pannelists must agree in order for the rare sight candidate to gain admission to the list.

However, not all three pannalists agree! It is apparently not a rare sight in Japan!

"It's not unique" (!)

And this reminds me a little of the market. Don't count your chickens until they are hatched.

Another Letter

Having had a good experience with superior letter sending in Japan recently, the very same subject came up on TV.

This time we are back to our favourite program, Night Scoop. The "detective" (seen here, below, on the left), was called in to help the skinny chap, sporting the military haircut, with a peculiar request.

20 years ago, haircut guy was an 8-year old school kid, and not very good at his homework. One day at school they were asked to write a letter, tie it to a ballon and send it.

And in his letter, he proposed a "man's agreement", writing: "To whoever finds this letter, please write me a letter back, and tell me what I should do with my life. I am useless with my homework, and I just want to give up. Then, in twenty years' time, when I am old enough to drink, and have some money, I will buy you a beer."

That isn't very extraordinary, is it? I mean, kids always write letters and pretend to be cowboys and things. However, someone found the letter and replied to it.

The letter said "Do not worry about your studies, just try your best. You never know what life will bring you. I am now 28, so when you are the same age as me you can buy me a beer and we can talk about how your life went."

So in order to help Haircut San keep his side of the bargain, the first challenge was to find the guy.

They had his name, Ota San, but he didn't put his return address on the envelope. However, they soon found his address because, coincidently, he lived in a building with the same name. And a big sign on it saying "Ota".

So, they try to make him remember without giving the game away. They start to give him hints, such as "do you remember entering into a man's agreement?"

"You what!?"

They try again - "Did you arange to meet someone twenty years ago?" - he answers : "I don't know what you're on about".

He thinks it may be something to do with a hernia.

Again they try: "Do you remember something, a long, long time ago, turning up, out of the blue, on your land?"

"Was it some rubbish?"

He eventually gets it, but not before they give him some more clues, such as "it could have started with a FU" (the first sound of "letter" in Japanese).

They go back to his house and try to jog his memory about what he wrote. They end up giving him some fairly heavy hints, and finally Haircut San brings out the posh booze he has bought for the occasion.

However, Ota San...

... doesn't drink ! (anymore)

And, actually, Mr Haircut hasn't drank for a year and a half.

So, they have a sip of the posh booze, Haircut San spills some on the carpet, and the whole affair is a mess. But, at least he kept his side of the bargain.

And this reminds me somewhat of the market.

Overly relying on the past can result in failure.

The Cutting Edge of Miso

Now, we have been looking at some of the leading-edge trends, such as Relaxed Bear. However, today we are going to look at a bleeding-edge trend. Bored with ready-made miso soup, people are increasingly opting for custom-made miso. This lady is a miso sommelier.

She mixes different kinds of miso paste according to your requirements. It is important, she says, to understand, that the taste of the miso changes significantly when you mix the different types together.

There you go.

However, she also adds a special ingredient that is so secret that it has to be blurred out.

And, essentially, concerning miso activity technique, the scales are falling from our eyes!

Also, you can go to bars which serve only miso soup (and booze). Look at this delicious-looking soup. I'm hungry already.

Helpfully, this journalist is on the scene, trying out many types of miso to tell us the scoop.

Now, they have a lot of different types of soup in this soup bar, but this show is asking us: which is the most popular? A very good question. And an important one.

Press the blue TV button for Ishikari (from Hokkaido), red for Akadashi (the daddy), Green for Shijimi (small clams), and Yellow for Black Bean Miso. In contrast to TV in Europe, they ask the question, and you need to answer within about two minutes - much more exciting than waiting until the end of the show! This is, obviously, because Japan has a lot of technology, whereas in Europe we are still using carrier pigeons. This way, we can get more questions in too.

There we are - the audience says Shijimi.
But the answer, in fact, is Black-Bean Miso!

Back to the studio for some insight from the panel.

Now, lets ask the panel (including Japanese-speaking Italian chef with very, very long name when put into Japanese) the next question. What miso should you add to Shinchou miso?

A unanimous verdict of Akadashi - the most popular concentrated type of Miso.

The people at home seem to agree.

And the correct answer, is, in fact ....

... Akadashi miso !

You need a ratio of 4:1 of Shinchou miso to Akadashi miso. Taking notes? Good.

Add the mixted miso to some boiled shells - make sure you take off the stuff that floats to the top of the water when you boil the shells.

OK, next question - what is Toyonaga San's (the miso sommelier) special skill in the Miso shop?

Is it:

(Blue button): Making a statuette from miso paste?

(Red): Throwing a spoon into the miso paste?

Green: Perfectly weighing the miso?

Or Yellow: Lifting a whole tub of miso paste with one arm?

The folks at home seem to say correct weighing skills.

But - the answer is throwing the spoon skills!

OK, last question - exports of Miso to Europe started booming in the mid-1980's. Notice the spike in the mid-80's.

Was this due to cycling champion Mr Nakano, olympic gold-medalist, who claimed his success was due to drinking Miso every day?

Haley's commet?

Chernobyl?

Or was it due to a visit to Japan by the late Princess Diana (and husband)?

Viewers say Diana....

...the answer is, in fact - Chernobyl!

Following Chernobyl there was a lot of attention on Professor Watanabe San, of Hiroshima University.

His research indicated that people who drank miso soup following the Hiroshima nuclear bombing had cells that recovered more quickly from radiation damage. It was found to be particularly effective in preventing cancer of the stomach and great intestine, as well as in preventing increased blood pressure. This caused a big jump in Miso imports to Europe in 1984.

However, do note that on the graph Miso imports have been surging, and, so far, appear to still be going strong - another robust industry.


Also, please be aware that Miso is high in sodium, so consult your medical practisioner before ordering a boatload, like I am.

And this somewhat reminds me of the market. Always look at the data.