Duck on River, Big One

OK, so basically, once you've stimulated the economy by paying for people to do almost everything except for useful things, there can only be one rational thing left to do.

And that, of course, is to put a big duck on a river:

In fact, this wasn't a stimulus program, but ended up working much better than current ideas. Hundreds of people stand here everyday, just looking at the duck. Some of them are so impressed, they go into the nearby bar, or McDonalds, to contemplate what this all means. The duck is a symbol of peace, a universal unifying symbol of goodness, transcending all the divisions that divide us, and other warm feelings as well. (That's according to the blurb on the side of the duck).




















See - look how peaceful you are observing the duck!




















How about now?



















And this, of course, is just like the market - it is occasionally tricky telling apart fantasy from reality.

Mickey Mouse or Just Another Halluciation?

I have to apologise yet again. Today has been a busy day. You know how on some days you mentally put aside some time into a box labelled "Productive Time", and then go and start thinking about some important questions that have been on your mind, such as "those folks in Terminator 4 did a really good job against the robots - how were they so brave against their formidable and well-organised opponents?", or "does MacDonald's in Japan have wasabi-based products?", and "can a cookie with a single piece of chocolate be honestly called a Chocolate Chip Cookie?". Well, today is such a day.

And for this reason, we are going to review some brief, yet hardly unimportant, contributions to the Rare Sceneries of Japan list:

Here is a child's head with hair...

... in the shape of a heart!

Here is a closeup:

And a related, but different rare scene is - some moss by the side of the road...

... in the shape of Mickey Mouse's head!

The person who sent this entry in was so impressed by the sight of Mickey's head, that he comes every day to blow dust off it, using an air pump:

And water it (with mineral water):

However, this does raise the problem of Confirmation Bias - could the discoverers be influenced to see a shape that wasn't really there, and then comb/pour water in such a way as to make the shape more perfect? There is no way to tell, of course, but this does remind me a little of the market.

You can always find a pattern in the data if you squint hard enough.

In the Pocket of the Beholder

Now, with the global recession reaching the furthest and darkest corner, even potential consumers of old-fashioned board games are trading down.

And where else are we to find the most compact and efficient version of Hungry Hippos, than in Japan. Here we have Hungry Hippos...

...on a keychain!

$6.50. Ideal for those who need to carry all their entertainment needs in a trouser pocket. Also ideal for those who have delicate fingers and are not prone to breaking things. The packaging says, in the big red star, "with Limited Gameplay". And this should be warning enough.

But if you're still looking for a portable solution to your old-fashion diversion needs, then look no further than the....

....magnetic dart board on a key chain!


Now, anyone who has ever played magnetic darts has wondered how this genre of game did not die out together with Mr Frosty. But making a pocket version creates a whole new dilema - shall I buy it, knowing full well that it is completely useless?

And this reminds me a little of the market. While junk can be tempting in the short term, it often leads to regret upon reflection.

More Food Technology

Today being a good day for getting busy watching to see if any new commercials have made it onto the TV, I have only time to quickly update you with an important trend:

The food-screen wipe:

At first, it looks just like a normal doughnut you may leave lying around your computer. But, cunningly, it is a disguised screenwipe. $5.80.

Also available in cake with cherry version:

And, for those who think that wiping your screen with a cake is just a bit silly:

...how about a burger wipe!

And this reminds me a little of the market. If your eyes are bigger than your stomach, you may end up eating a screenwipe.



On a separate note, with two days left till the election results (go to the site to press button on whether there should be a three-per-week schedule), there is understandably an air of expectancy and tension. Ok, perhaps not. Initial indications show that four votes have been cast so far, with a three-to-one majority favouring daily spamming.

However, despite the democracy nameplate, this is not an election in the way of Holland or Japan.

Sure, no one cares about the result, turnout is poor, and everyone is worried about keeping their jobs, but this is a democracy more in style of a country that needs to prefix its name with "The Democratic People's Republic". A little like Zimbabwe, although not entirely, as that would have me alternately beating you with a stick, and offering you stolen land, in ordrer to entice you to vote. However, I am not going to interfere with voting, but may end up interpretting the results, a bit like the US government does with unemployment data.

Money out of Noodles

Last Friday I managed to be gently irritating by promising an unusual destination for today's JTMIJ, while talking about dog poo signs.

However, I am cautiously optimistic that the hardships you have endured in reading Friday's entry may be worth it. And the reason for that, is because today we are going to...

... the Nissin foods dry noodle museum!

The official name in English is "The Instant Ramen Museum", but it actually sounds significantly more impressive in Japanese - "The Instant Ramen Discovery Commemoration Museum".

Here is the chap who was responsible for all of this - Momofuku Ando.

He not only is holding some dry noodles, but he is also standing on a large pot noodle! Clearly, this man was very committed.
On the very same day I saw a bus emblazoned with the Nissin foods emblem - a little chick - surely a high auspicious sign:

The museum is free, and well laid out, with helpful directions provided by little chick (here s/he is saying "The birth of Chikin Ramen"):

Inside, you can see a time-wall of dehydrated noodles,

...including some varieties that I thought were quite rare (they have a special kind of dry noodle you can only buy in Okinawa, and at this museum, some that you can only get on an aeroplane), as well as... UFO noodles:

...and Milk Seafood Noodle:


But the real history is when you go back to 1958, when Nissin foods first started selling dehydrated noodles. They looked like this ("Chikin Ramen"):


...and then forward in time to the next breakthrough:
The cup noodle ("Capunooduru")

Next we get taken on a journey of discovery to understand Ando's concept. He had five principles based on his post war experience when he saw that many people couldn't even get noodles to eat. These were: Good taste, affordability, long-term storage, nutrition, and something else.

Here he is brandishing a microscope:


For the noodle topping, he researched sixty types of food, including Broccoli, Cheese, Ham, and others, and settled on Prawn, Egg, and Beef.


Incidentally, Ando's real inspiration for the cup noodle packaging was when he was on an American plane, and got given a tin of nuts:


There is an old-school cup noodle vending machine, some information about noodles in the space program (furnished by Nissin, of course), stats on consumption (Japan is the number two consumer behind China, and ahead of Indonesia in third place), and many other self education opportunities.

However, the main reason why people come to the museum is actually because, famously, you get to design your own noodles!

So, this being Japan, we of course have to follow a well organised and efficient plan.

Firstly you pay 300 Yen for the cup ($3). Then you wash your hands with alcohol (this already won't work in Europe). The third step is to sit down and put your own design onto your cup:

There are some handy examples, mostly featuring yellow chicks. Most people end up drawing yellow chicks.


Due to artistic limitations and other excuses, I managed an awful design:

I tried to make up for it by drawing the character for Wealth on the side for good luck in future undertakings. However, this can only help marginally if you are standing next to families with perfectly drawn cartoon characters on theirs.

Now, they have a mini-production line, where you hand over your creation and see how they make the cup noodle. You can choose between a number of flavours - Seafood, Curry, Veg, Chicken etc., and four out of about fifteen toppings:

Lastly, you get an inflatable bag to put your precious dry noodles into. Always ready to help, this chick is saying "Please take a string!".

You put the cup into the plastic bag, and pump it up.

Now, in the complex instructions on how to apply a bike pump to a plastic bag, our chick adviser says:

"Don't pump too much!"

...and this, of course, was highly tempting to use as the market message of the day.

However, there is a more serious point here. Momofuku ("One hundred Riches") Ando started development in a shed like this, and only started selling noodles when he was 48 years old. And yet became one of the most celebrated food empire geniuses of all time.



And this, I feel, reminds me of the market - slow and steady wins the race.

Mario or Anatomy Lesson?

Today is a special day at Yodobashi Camera, which, despite its name is actually an electronics megastore. And we know that it is special, because they got Iron Man himself just to stand there and hold a 10% off DVDs sign. Now, even though they do have an entire section on train films (documentaries on Shinkansen is very popular - you can see inside the cockpit and everything), we are actually here for a different reason.


And that is Gatchapon. You know those machines you put a coin into, twist the handle and out comes a ball with a toy? Well, the turning sound, in Japanese at least, sounds a bit like "Gatcha gatcha gatcha", and when the ball falls down, it sounds very much like "pon". Hence the name.

Now, Gatchapon in Japan are not just rusting machines outside the public swimming pool. No, they are mainstream, and very popular. And one of the best places to go for Gatchapon is Yodobashi Camera.

Basically, all the big names are represented - Mameshiba, Hello Kitty, Relakuma, Mario, Snoopy, Pokemon, Ultraman, etc.

However, there are many, many, many more.

Here you can get a plastic replica burger, by Mos Burger (like Burger King but without the smell and litter on the floor), in case you want to remind yourself of your favourite convenience food product when reaching for your keys. $2.

This was also somewhat curious - Bouncy Body Mascot.

Or how about a ...

...poo light! Available in six different varieties.


or a miaowing paw? Also available in dog version.


or a handy anatomy lesson?


Now, when you put the money in and turn the wheel, it does indeed go gatcha gatcha gatcha, and there is a helpful safety-pacman to show you how to retrieve your Gatchapon without injury.

I ended up going for :


A keyring which looks like a slide with a bacterium on it. I didn't really care for the bacterium so much, but the machine did say "Tales of Agriculture", which I felt was a strong use of Jinglish. I also got a Mario one (very difficult to decide between the soft version
- which you can use as a screen-wipe, and the hard version, which is also a handy fridge magnet):


And here's the thing - I really wanted to get the bullet guy, or perhaps the cloud, but the machine gave me the yellow mushroom.

And this reminds me of the market - you can't eliminate randomness.

On the Cuting Edge at the Dog Cafe

In this time of uncertainty everyone looks to that which is stable and reliable - and what could be more depenable and reassuring than the good nature of a simple but affectionate dog.

Unfortunately, in a crowded country it is difficult to own a pet dog. And yet, Japanese dogs are surely the most pampered in the world - see here and here for examples in previous posts.

Not only are they the best-dressed animals, but also they are the most shampooed ("Dog Stylist" in Japan, unlike elsewhere, is a regular job, not limited to overly-rich areas), massaged, best-fed (you can now get biscuits that the owner and dog can share), and probably most expensive non-racetrack creatures anywhere.

So, with such pent-up demand, and serious physical limts on ownership, the logical business model has to be ...

... a dog cafe - ("Will you not play with us?")

Given that dog cafes ("Inu Cafe") are perhaps the coolest trends in Japan, the very cutting edge, I feel that it is imperative that we check out the Bow Wow Relaxation of Dog's Gallery.

The front looks promising, with hand-drawn invitations to play with some dogs, get your dog shampooed, or even buy a dog ($1000 starting price).

We go up the stairs, decorated with this guy:

"DOG", says he. "Let's play with us!"

The front bit is a regular dog shop. Slightly unfortunate that Japanese dogs are have so much attention lavished upon them, but then are stuck in glass boxes of chicken-cage dimensions most of the time. Perhaps this helps get them out of the door.

Now, here is the deal. You sit down at a table in this open space, and the dogs are supposed to come to you, not the other way around. I don't see how you would be able to anyway, as they all have been, judging by their excitement, winning the lottery while smoking crack cocaine.

And here there is a big list of rules that customers are to follow - don't chase the dogs around, don't run around, don't shout, (which no Japanese person would ever think of doing anyway), when you want to hold a dog, tell a staff member (yeah right), and please give biscuits to the dog directly from your hand (whatever).

The place smells of old carpets/dogs, but what you can't see here is that all of them have nappies on! The staff rush around tending to the dogs, who are leaping about, inbetween sniffing one another in certain key areas, and all the while customers are sitting around the sides, half smiling, half wondering why they came to see some hysterical puppies go bonkers.

Sorry, would you mind if I...? Oh, no, not at all, do go ahead...


One interesting feature was this catalogue showing you the profile of each dog - their age, weight, breed, likes and dislikes, as well as the price to buy him or her. The interesting thing was that the "personality charectaristics", such as "shy", "clever", etc really did not seem to match up to the actual dog at all, and in most cases investigated were actually diametrically opposite. Maybe they were influenced by the biscuits.

Now the game, as most customers work out after about fifteen minutes of no dog-love, is to buy a small packet of dog biscuits ($3), and then you are transformed from just another spectator into the most popular person, or at least the centre of attention, in the room. Until you have given out all the goodies. So clearly, a timed release strategy is the way forwards. However, you soon realise that the dogs only love you for your biscuits, and this undoes all the benefits of the attention from the dogs in the first place.

And this reminds me a little of the market. Short term popularity is not long term success.